let me count the ways

Ten things you can't tell from looking at Randolph's photo:

1. He was named Randolph, not Rudolph, because his nose is pink, not red.
2. I've decided that since no one knows when he was born, he would share my birthday. Happy 2nd birthday, sweetie!
3. He smells very, how should I put it delicately, doggie. But his skin condition -- due to a diet of fried rice by his previous owner -- is now improving and so is the smell. Either that, or I'm getting used to it. Or worse, I'm starting to smell like him.
4. He not only looks intelligent, he is intelligent. He knows how to open doors to come inside the house, he knows how to avoid the antibiotic pills I try to sneak into his food, he knows to hold his pee and poo when he is indoors.
5. He has an unbecoming girly bark.
6. He has awfully visible nipples.
7. His fur is kinda scruffy, but at least he doesn't shed much.
8. He doesn't like water, but stands obediently still when you bathe him.
9. He totally ignores the rubber ball I bought for him unless I stuff some doggie treats inside it.
10. He isn't one of those slobbering, over-enthusiastic licker types.
11. He whimpers when I leave home and jumps all over me when I get back.

Okay, so I can't count.