Saturday, August 30

nine seconds

I read this quite a few days ago, but it's stayed with me. There's something wrong and I can't seem to link directly to the blog post on Dooce, so here it is:

Last night was the sixth anniversary of the evening Jon and I stood on a cliff in Yosemite National Park and vowed to give each other shit for the rest of our lives. This weekend that we have spent in San Francisco at a three-day music festival was planned at the last moment, and it was something we thought would appropriately commemorate this anniversary. He and I met at a music festival in Utah in 1997. He was married to someone else at the time, and I knew this, respected this, had heard stories about him from some of his close friends, but I couldn't help falling in love with him on that very hot summer afternoon. And he was totally oblivious.

Yesterday morning I was thinking about all of that, how it's a miracle and a blessing that even though I knew there was no hope and had given up on the idea of Jon Armstrong, had moved on with my life, had said to myself that I could settle for someone else, that here we are, six years later, knocking each other in the head every night with our twin skinny elbows and knees.

We've spent the last three days running around Golden Gate Park with two heavy professional cameras, one that we rented on a whim the first morning we got here, taking photos of some of the bands whose music has been the soundtrack to our lives together. Last night when it was all over and we were back at the hotel sipping cocktails on the roof overlooking the city we couldn't believe what we've lived through in six short years together: unemployment and moving into my mother's basement to owning our first house, a kitchen remodel, pregnancy, postpartum depression, physical and occupational therapy on our child, hoping and waiting to see if she would ever walk, two MRIs, starting our own business, getting sued by a publishing company, marriage counseling, skin cancer, traveling all over the country, to Canada, to Europe, adopting a dog who eats her own poop, and several deaths in the extended family. We made it through it all. And it wasn't easy, there were times when both of us didn't know if we were going to make it but loved each other enough that we were willing to try.

My friend Leona gave me some really profound advice last night as we were talking about how much better our thirties are compared to our twenties. She said, "No matter what horrible thing you're going through, when it's all over it only takes three seconds to sum it up. Remember that."

I lost my mind, got some help, and then I found it again.

We thought we were going to lose our house trying to pay legal fees. Thankfully, it didn't work out that way.

My dog likes to pee all over the house. I thought I might kill her, but I didn't.

Once I threw my keys at my husband's head because I thought he didn't understand. He didn't leave me.

My daughter wouldn't put any weight on her legs, and the doctors said she might not ever walk. They were wrong, and now she runs.

I am very much looking forward to the morning six years from now when he and I are taking a few moments before the chaos of the day consumes us, and we can look back and talk in three-second sentences.

Summing up my life in three three-second sentences:

I was bedridden for three months but now I can run. In heels.

I lived in a house filled with the stink of cat pee. It's been replaced by a faint doggie aroma.

I found someone who made me laugh. I learnt to let him go.

Wednesday, August 20

supersize me

My love for miniatures is well documented. But did you know I also have a thing over supersized objects (asides from McDonald's meals)? If only I had the space (and money!) to own this sculpture by Robert Therrien.

The above is not really related, but it's from a New Yorker piece that I always recall on long elevator rides. The story is about the longest smoke break, which lasted a harrowing 41 hours due to an elevator malfunction.

P.S. More riveting chatter between my twin and I here.

Sunday, August 17

tony's wedding

The Merry Black Widow Party celebrates Tony Leung's recent Wedding of the Year.

C is visibly upset that Tony is finally off the market.

J wears a strangely sultry look.

W wears the dress (with cleavage) bought especially for Tony.

Zann seems only interested in dessert. Tony who?

doom dee ya dah

Another minute of a lazy Sunday. I love Discovery Channel.


A fun way to spend 15 minutes on a lazy Sunday. Face Your Manga and pick and choose your features to see what you think you look like.

Wednesday, August 6

miss popularity runner-up

The results are out. I'm the runner-up for the popularity contest.

I'd like to thank my father, my mother, my sister and all my adoring fans who voted for me. Thank you, thank you, I love you all so much.

[I showed my entry to my mom, who hadn't seen the photo before, and she said: "Like that also can win second prize ah?"]


I suddenly remembered this drunken conversation I had on a cab ride in Hong Kong with two other fashion writers, all single, who were giggling over photos of teenaged male models on an iPhone.

FASHION WRITER A: Theeeeees one sooooo cute!
FASHION WRITER B: Aiyoh, they are sooooo young. Young enough to be our chewren!
ME: (Giggle)
FASHION WRITER B (the most drunk one): Why this industry so many cao ah gua? Otherwise we would have chewren already...
EVERYONE: (Silence)

Then we arrived back at the hotel and staggered to bed, leaving behind all thoughts about the chewren we could have had.

inane chatter part 451

MY TWIN: it drives me absolutely crazy when my colleague prints out something and doesn't arrange the papers nicely so that all the edges align before she staples them together. like what, will it take you 1 second to just make sure all the edges align?!? isn't that a sign of a slopppy mind??!?1 or am i mad? Hahaha
ME: it drives me mad too!!!!!!!
MY TWIN: twins!!!!!!!
ME: or when people anyhow fold papers, not exactly in half! i feel an attack of hives coming on just thinking about it!
MY TWIN: yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!! muahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahaha please blog this! or i will, after i clear my backlog
ME: hahahahahahaha ok blog about the cockles and karma*, i blog this
MY TWIN: muahahahahahhh ok!!!! wah, now we are like airlines, you know, doing codesharing
ME: when i see people folding corners of their books to mark their pages, i die a little inside
MY TWIN: yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME: and if someone does it to MY BOOK...DEATH TO YOU! our friendship is OVER!
MY TWIN: or people who rip pages out from library books! especially recipe books! then i hope their cooking attempts failed
ME: i just had a thought last night, looking at my PRISTINE cook books...that maybe i should photocopy those pages i feel like cooking, so i won't dirty it
MY TWIN: that makes perfect sense!!!
ME: somemore, those blasted cookbooks can never stay opened on the page you want!
MY TWIN: ya!!!!!!!!
ME: but we're not that bad lah, i've heard of urban legends of people who have to iron their newspapers before reading
MY TWIN: muahahahahhhahahhhahahahahahahahhahahahahahah anal!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME: does your husband do that???
MY TWIN: thankfully no! in fact, he leaves the papers in a mess after he reads them, and that drives me crazy too! all the pages are misaligned, so the papers don't fold properly in the middle! i hate it! hahahahha
ME: oh i hate it too! my mom does that! my dad and sis are as neat as me!
MY TWIN: hahhahahahhahah

This is what my twin and I prattle on about when we're bored at work. I'm so glad she's back from Hawaii, because, really, who else can muahahahahahhahahahahahha as well as me?

* Cockles and karma were the highlight of inane chatter part 450.

Monday, August 4

fashion victim

This is too hilarious not to share (I've also posted it on the Swirl Girls blog).

Christy (one of my elves) was watching some Mandarin programme on TV some time ago, in which Chen Hanwei (actor-turned-host-cum-stylist) and his guests comment on the dressing on people secretly filmed on the streets. One of his guests was David Gan (also known as the celebrity hairstylist who gives Zhang Ziyi her comb-overs).

Anyway, Christy spotted someone who was wearing this exact outfit (with better pixelation of the face, since I do not have Photoshop) who was being rubbished on national TV by Chen and Gan.

I believe they exclaimed over how unflattering my haircut was and how round it made my face look. Unfortunately, they stopped short of giving any useful advice on what sort of hairstyle would suit my moon face. Drats.

addicted to pain

So. My neck and shoulder aches have been getting worse [probably from lying right on the edge of the bed trying not to elbow or kick the other two occupants], so I called the tui na centre.

ME: Hello, I'd like to make an appointment on Sunday with Mindy* please.
RECEPTIONIST: Oh, Mindy is away until the end of the month.
ME: Ah! Is there anyone else who is as good as Mindy?
ME: Errr...ok, I'll call again when Mindy is back.

* Say her name with a cheena accent, like meeeen-deeee.


I was tossing and turning fitfully last night, unable to sleep, because the bed was too small for three [long story, my sis and my dog are now sharing my bed], when I suddenly remembered an ex-colleague telling me something sort of related to the post below about the swastika.

I was about to go on a backpacking trip to Japan and all excited about it when he told me, coldly: "I would never go to Japan. I will never forgive the Japanese for World War II."

He was the same age as me, mind you, not some war veteran.