Wednesday, May 31


[Picking up a conversation I didn't finish the night before.]
ME: So...what do you think of, exactly, when you say you think of me?
HE: Must you know?

[Long pause on my end. Then he called. I didn't pick up. Didn't feel like talking.]
ME: Sorry I missed your call
HE: Busy?
ME: Just got home
HE: Date?
ME: Nope... You busy?
HE: Not really. What's up?
ME: Nothing really... You were the one who called...
HE: You SMSed me
ME: You claimed to have thought of me
HE: That was yesterday
ME: So no thoughts of me today huh
HE: I say again. Does it matter?

[Just before I dozed off.]
ME: I think I've finally got the appropriate response to "does it matter?"... "If you say it doesn't, well, then it doesn't."
HE: It's not my call to say whether it does or not. I was asking you the question remember?
ME: In that case, my response remains the same... It shouldn't...but it does...
HE: Anyway, to answer your original question, it's "what if"

[This morning.]
ME: So very tired now...had weird dreams the whole night about "what if"...
HE: What were your dreams and why were they so strange?
ME: To use the catchphrase of the week...does it matter?
HE: Haha. It shouldn't but it does?

Monday, May 29

boxing day

My eBay bags, shipped to G & A's place in New York, have managed to touch the ceiling. I can't wait to meet them -- G & A as well as my bags -- in person. Two more days...

Sunday, May 28


LURVE: Hey can you please get me Tweezerman tweezers from Sephora?
ME: I also wanna get Tweezerman! Sick of cheap tweezers that only work for a while!
LURVE: Ya they're very good. I lost my slanted one so been surviving with pointy ones. Very hard to pluck! I keep plucking my skin instead!
ME: Will it really last forever? I think tweezers are like men. Once you find a good one, you should never let go! But I keep getting cheated by lousy ones! Haha
LURVE: Ha ha! Well you gotta take good care of them or you'll lose them easily like I did! Just vanished from my bathroom one day. Must treat with TLC.
ME: And the bad tweezers can really hurt you, especially when they end up plucking your skin.
LURVE: Ha ha! Yes. And if you drop them too many times they'll become blunt and unresponsive
ME: Moral of the story: Tweezerman is really a man! Haha!

Saturday, May 27

multiple choice

As I was writing up some book reviews in my usual agonisingly slow way on a lazy Saturday afternoon, he sent me this message: "Now everytime I look at pretty dresses I think of you. Bugger."

What would have been the correct response?
A. "There's a backhanded compliment somewhere in that message...I think..."
B. "If you really want, I can make a pretty size XL dress for you."
C. "Are you out shopping for dresses at the Great Singapore Sale with your girlfriend?"
D. "Bugger off."

P.S. I've finally fixed the problem of commented comments not appearing as comments when you type in a comment. My bad for tweaking the html without knowing how it worked. But now you can comment away.

P.P.S. For those of you still working on the photo meme, I regret to inform you that I have given up in utter despair.

P.P.P.S. Today is the third anniversary of this blog. That's 1096 days worth of mindless drivel and shameless navel gazing and endless whining.

more bags, more pats

Tried making one with lining. [That's the pale pink stuff you can sorta see peeping out from underneath.]

This one has is made from two scarves. And it has two pockets, my own innovation!

As you can probably tell, I'm very proud of myself. All done in one night somemore.

a sub's nightmare

Ok, the bag is brilliant, but the eBayer selling it has even more brilliant copywriting skills:

ABLAZE with CHOICE Fashion Forward Delight,is this Original Vintage ARISTOCRAT, straight out of the 1950's and 60s, with its SAVVY DEFINITIVE style, it screams with an ART DECO-ISH Bite, and a SPORTY HIP attitude! A True HOTTIE, Fashioned with LONG Slim SEXY Length, it is SUPERBLY enveloped with TOP GRAIN super SOFT and SUPPLE leather, patterned with a STRIPE of CREAM, and a STRIPE of MOSSY TAN, and then topped with a RIGID Leather wrapped frame done in GOLDEN NUTMEG. Making the bag BURST with PIZZAZZ, is that it is BEAUTIFULLY and SHAMELESSLY Topped with a CHUNKY Dazzling BRASS Bar SNAP frame, that ARCHES up and then ROUNDS downward in a LOOPY O RING Fashion at one end, acting as the PERFECT Handle GRIP.....Oh its SO SHARP & INSANELY COOL! Splitting open down the center,to REVEAL a Creamy LEATHERETTE lined INTERIOR with a side wall zipper POCKET and a pouch slip POCKET behind that, this is SPORTING the ORIGINAL "TOWN & COUNTRY SHOES" label and provides AMPLE room for our GIRLY necessities. SHINING with SUCH Edgy PRESENCE, and DELICIOUS Swank, this is a MUST HAVE quintessential FASHION ICON, Looking SAUCY knocking around with JEANS and pair of vintage BOOTS, or sandals, or pair it up with the POWER SUIT for work or out with GALS...but whatever outfit or look you choose to match it up with,it will add VERVE and SPICE!! Measuring 11.75" from side to side and 5.75" from top to bottom, and about 1.25" in depth when flat, this is in EXCELLENT condition..and GLEAMING with FRESH Crisp NEW Appeal....The leather is so soft and perfect, and brass is shiny and bright, and the interior is spotless and clean with NO odors.To an admirer's eye, and when carrying out and about,this looks brand new, its ONLY upon CLOSE inspection will you see some VERY MINOR rubs and VERY LIGHT scratching to the brass top frame clasp and grip,..NO tarnishing or wearing of yellowy color...and it is what makes the bag POP!!! There are some VERY MINOR, but again, TYPICAL corner scuffs at one bottom corner...(you have to have you're nose up on the bag to see it..and to two top corners, which also do not STAND OUT or TAKE AWAY from the bags looks. HONESTLY, the bag is a DELUXE Piece with INTENSE Fashion Sense!..You WONT be disappointed...its ABSOLUTELY got a look that is ALL its OWN...Exploding with POWERFUL Panache, and VIVACIOUS VIGOR, it EXCITES with EDGY SPUNK, but can be CLASSY & DEFINED, and Has a SPORTY Zip and a BOHO Blend, but just down right IMPRESSIVE and SUPERIOR !!!!!

Thursday, May 25

pat me on the bag

Ahem. I made this under two hours using leftover scraps from the Dorothy and Natalie dresses and my trusty Elna sewing machine. With a wee bit of help from Martha Stewart's gorgeous new mag Blueprint.

it's in the stars

Junkie that I've turned into, I'm collecting eBay feedback to work towards a blue star. I need 33 more positive comments from sellers.

This recent one is a real gem: "Amazing, almost supernatural ebuying abilities. Wow! Way to go!"

Wednesday, May 24


I brought this photo and cajoled Timen my hairdresser -- a hair nazi who dictates when and how my next hairdo should be -- to please please please cut my hair like this please.

He was his usual reluctant self, because he adores my curls and had something planned for me already. But I insisted I wanted to look neat. And cute. And perhaps a little spastic. I like.

Only now do I realise it's the same hairstyle that Audrey Tautou had in Amelie, my all-time fave film. If only I could look as adorable.

Oh, the IT helpdesk guy commented today that my hair made me look like a Halamis.

"A what?"
"What's halamis?"
"Ha. La. Mis."
"You know, Cantonese, Hokkien, Teochew, Halamis..."

garden variety

Lisa and Melissa, the two birds who helped us bring in these two, erm, birds.

Thanks to Thomas, the cow has come home.

ebaying at the moon

My new love has been keeping me way to busy to blog [bad, for my five loyal readers] and to SMS [good, for me, I think].

Friday, May 19

bid me good night

I have a new love.

Makes my heart race, my hands clammy and my mouth dry.

Occupies most of my waking hours and keeps me up till the wee hours.

Causes me to lose all sense of rationality, logic and ability to count money.

Overwhelms me with unspeakable desires and insane urge to tell the world.

Plunges me to the depths of despair and then sends me up to the heights of ecstacy.

It's eBay. And I've fallen hopelessly into it.

I try to tell myself, "You can't win them all" -- that's my new motto for eBay, as well as for life in general -- but I'm still sore about the bejewelled clutch I lost yesterday. And the gold lame handbag I lost just an hour ago. And the cute red leather bag. And the classic black clutch...

Now, I'm staying up to monitor some auctions which are ending in two hours' time.

This is totally consuming my life. Which is the way love should be.

Tuesday, May 16

more matters

HE: Are you dating anyone?
ME: Does it matter?
HE: It shouldn't, but it does? :P
ME: Heh
ME: Oh wait...the right answer should have been, you're sweet
HE: So who's he?
ME: I'm not seeing anyone. Happy now?
HE: Well, that strange?

I didn't know to tell him to goway or comere. So I said nothing at all.
Couldn't help eavesdropping on this Chinese businessman's phone conversation -- he was very loud -- at my doc's this morning: "A thousand apologise to you. Many thanks for your understand."

Sunday, May 14

mock lunch

I dragged myself out of bed at the unearthly hour of 9am [considering that it was Sunday!] to go for a Mother's Day and family reunion lunch of sorts.

Because two aunts and one uncle were vegetarians, we had lots of food mocking us -- mock fish, mock prawns, mock abalone, mock sausages. Lots of real vegetables and mushrooms too.

Australian Aunt: You have become so skinny.
Me: Um... [play with chopsticks, hoping food would faster arrive]
Malaysian Aunt: You have become prettier.
Me: Um... [blush and sip soya bean drink]
Malaysian Aunt: There must be a lot of guys after you.
Me: Um... [drink more soya bean]
Australian Uncle: You look Japanese.
Me: Um... [smile and make eyes really small]
Australian Aunt: It's your hair. It's very nice.
Mother: [Proudly] She spends $70 cutting it.
Me: Um... [look down at empty plate and wish for food]
Australian Aunt: [More proudly] My Karen spends $80.
Me: Um... [why did I come for lunch?]
Singaporean Aunt: See? It's good to come for lunch with us. Got people tell you that you're skinny and pretty.

Friday, May 12

spear and shield

I am bored at home alone, but I am too lazy to get dressed and go to Velvet to meet my friends.

I have many items on my Elf Work To Do List, but I am too overwhelmed to attempt them.

I am so tired that my eyes can barely stay open, but I can't sleep.

I have lost so much weight that I can wear my long-lost "skinny clothes", but I'm not exactly thrilled about it.

I want to eat more, but I have no appetite and I get nauseated/tummyaches after eating.

I don't want him to call me, but I then do, so that I can give him a piece of my mind for calling when I told him not to.

I think we've gone too far, but actually we've gone nowhere.

I told him to goway and lemmelone, but really, I want him to comere.

ghost in the machine

My remote controls -- all five of them, neatly placed in the Ikea pocket thingy next to my bed -- are haunted.

My SCV set top turns on and off by itself, while I'm at work. Once, it even turned off while I was taping Grey's Anatomy, thus making sure I never saw the episode where Derek picked his evil wife instead of Meredith.

My aircon temperature will adjust itself during the night.

My radio remote works better when the batteries are low.

My TV can only play recorded programmes in black and white, unless I get up and press a button on the TV set itself.

And this is the freakiest: My VCR started rewinding itself in the middle of the night and woke me up. I confirmed it was not a dream by checking the tape the next morning. It was rewound all the way to the start.

I'm not making any of this up. I'm jinxed. My computer at work is so haunted, I managed to convince the IT guys to change a new one for me.

Thursday, May 11

three words

A new word I learnt: meme.

And two familiar old ones: gan xing.

Not sure why I'm in this weird funk. Actually I do, but I can't express it in words. So I shall do a meme instead.

I shall attempt to answer 20 questions with 20 photos. Later.

P.S. Can I invite OrangeClouds, Midori, Sissy, Geewee and Alfie to join me in my meme? And anyone else who are into such frivolous time-wasting pseudo-intellectual exercises in self-awareness?

P.P.S. This is much tougher than it appears. I've only managed to shoot one photo today. Watch this space...

hello kitties

Five kittens and their Mummy are now mewing, peeing, pooing, eating, sleeping and more sleeping in our backyard.

"I love kittens more than babies," says my housemate.

I agree.

"Babies are for people allergic to fur," I recall this line from some play. [Apologies to any proud Mummies out there. I don't have maternal instincts or ticking clocks.]

Wednesday, May 10

it's cool to be square

Bet they taste the same as the round ones though. But I'm not spending $50 to find out.

Monday, May 8

mind over matter

In conversation with K...

ME: Eh what happened to the singles party?
K: Erh dunno? Put on cold storage? You not still in touch with that guy are you?
ME: He sms me yesterday to tell me he dreamt of going on holiday with me. Then later told me he's going to Samui today...with his girlfriend!!!
K: Don't give yourself any grief lah
ME: I can't figure out what game he's playing... In my mind, it's simple. You either want me or you don't.
K: Which is why you gotta stop letting him mess with your mind. He obviously wants to stick with the girlfriend lah
ME: Ya, I get that he's not gonna leave her. But then why is he fucking with my mind? Anyway, I told him to stop dreaming about me.
K: Haha let another guy dream of you k? Anyway to be totally rid of the cad, you gotta just renounce him. Don't talk, sms or email. It's the only way to move ahead
ME: That's a bit harsh... Technically he's actually doing the right thing lah, staying with the girlfriend...
K: Is he? Then I bet his girlfriend approves of his flirting with you I suppose? And are you sure he's doing right by pulling your chain?
ME: Haha... you have a way of making me see how laughable and ridiculous the whole situation is...
K: That's why you must heed my advice

Saturday, May 6


Two weeks ago, while so ill in Bangkok that all I could do was lie in bed, call for room service and send text messages:

HE: So who are you there with?
ME: I'm alone. My friend's flying in later tonight.
HE: So who's he? Haha
ME: What makes you think it's a he?
HE: Is it not?
ME: Does it matter?
HE: Yes, you minx

Today, after weeks of not seeing him since I told him to goway:

HE: Strangely enough, I dreamt of going on a holiday with you last night
ME: Are you that bored?
HE: Yeah man. But I'm flying off to Samui tomorrow
ME: I'm I dare ask with who?
HE: Does it matter?
ME: It shouldn't...but it does.
HE: You're sweet
ME: I'm pathetic. And you haven't answered the question
HE: It doesn't matter.
ME: I'm a big girl. I can handle the truth.
HE: You can't take the truth.
ME: This is just making it worse. Come on...
HE: Girlfriend. Happy?
ME: Not happy. But I'll live.
HE: You masochist
ME: One other thing...Please stop dreaming about me.
HE: Er... I'll try?
ME: Try harder...

I know, I asked for it.

Wednesday, May 3


I was having a semi-serious political discussion with K, this being the election season and all.

He thinks that our votes are not secret. He says his heart wants to vote for the opposition but his head says no. I tell him I'm a walkover.

He ended with: "My advice to you: Don't let the constituency which is your heart be a walkover."

In other election-related news, my MP has written a letter, delivered last Saturday, to welcome me to his GRC. After I've moved in for close to a year. Go figure.

And still on the topic, I'm a huge fan of Rockson. Wish I knew who he was, I'd like to meet his horse. Rumour has it he's from my office.

Read this blog last night by Lucky Tan on how "happy" he is to be Singapore citizen. When I tried to access it again today, the site was gone. Big Brother is watching.

Monday, May 1

in sickness and in health

Letter from reader of my column on falling ill:

Let me tell you from my personal experience. what you see what you get, what will become of both of you is how you learn to adapt each other way and only way to hold until death do we part, as long as there is still "love and care in each heart" will we be able to weather the storm when each waves hit us hard.

For me my second x hushand was good in every way, courtship was good, even wrote on restaurant paper towel "dont ever leave me" when lunch. We got married later until I have breast cancer, he have no time to accompany me when I was hospitalised, no time to accompany me to dr for dressing when I check out of hospital.

I take it all coz there is love and care for him still, when I was better give him a chance and say I know you have someone I will let it go if whoever you are seeing you have to let it go and he reply "I talk rubbish why accuse him when it is not happening" so I repeat what I say, however, I say if I ever catch him with someone I will not let both party off, I have suffered enough after operation no support from him and I do not want to continue to suffer in silence.

In no time he was caught with my hairdresser who as a woman should empathise with me instead she said when I confronted her she say "he dont love you because you are too old for him he wants younger one" which is true I am older than him a couple of years. But when I look at her and him, hi I may be older but boy am I prettier than her in every way I was 30+ then which I am at my prime (I am 60 now). So I just reply to her and say in a nice way "thank you for taking him away from me, you have done me a great favour and good luck to you".

Like TV sitcome moses say Moral of the story, if he is good before marriage he should be good after marriage, no way baby, both party have to work it out if one go astray water will boil and one party need to cool off for marriage to stay.