Thursday, September 30

food diary
ban mian
two homemade popiah bursting with ingredients
three or four lychee martinis [lost track lah]
mango sorbet
two bowls of super dark and fragrant prawn soup

Wednesday, September 29

baby got back

Back from holiday. Back is burnt, too. But my bai kar seems to have benefited from the dip in sea water, no more scabs and no more swelling.

It was a marvellous break, especially since we lucked out and got upgraded to the duplex pool villa which we had been eyeing since the day we saw the hotel's website.

And did I mention that the hotel has its own private island? We had fishies swimming all around us while wading, and at low tide, we could walk among the corals. First time, for the both of us non-snorkeling suakus.

What did me and my lurve do those three days? Sleep, drink [alcoholic, of course] and eat five meals a day, all by the pool or the beach in our bikinis. Ahhh, bliss...

[There are more pix, but freaking Photobucket is annoying the heck outta me with its problems with uploading and resizing, so I'm giving up. You are spared a close-up shot of my fats spilling from my bikini bottom.]

food diary
too numerous and sinful to quantify, but suffice to say my liquid diet consisted of more frozen mango daiquiries than water

Sunday, September 26

shows you wished you watched

Will be off to bask in the sun with my lurve for the next three days.

Here's a collection unedited TV synopses to keep you kids occupied in the meantime.

Tamil Talkies: Little John (Tamil movie)
The story of an English man who astonishingly recovers the nose-ring of a goddess from a black magician.

Bollywood Bollywood: Mujhe Meri Biwi Se Bachaao (Hindi movie)
This is the story of Kamini Mathur and her unfaithful husband Anand Mathur (who after seven years of marriage is wanting a change from his fat and obese wife).

Feuding Ties (Drama)
Caiping became a striptease dancer to earn a living and kept it from Xiuxia.

Wednesday Midnight Movie: Queenie And King The Lovers
After knowing that her husband has an affair with her good friend Queenie, Eliza feels despaired and attempts suicide. Luckily, Queenie realises her mistake and reconciles with her husband. Stars Zhang Daming, Gigi Lai and Ken Wong.

Secret Woman (Telenovella)
Eugenia met with Carlota to beg her not be entremeter in the life of Gustavo and besides to claim her for instilling jealousy in him on account of Jose Manuel. Carlota is convinced if there is noted during the banquet of the Valladares the interest of Jose Manuel by Eugenia and notifies her that she will watch them. Eugenia catalogues the life of Carlota of disastrous. The antagonism among both is radical and irreconciliable.

The Butterfly Lovers (Drama)
Knowing their lives and property are being threatened, Yingtai's mother forces Yingtai to marry Wencai. Yingtai agrees unwillingly and sends a paper fan to Shanbo. He instantly realizes that Yingtai has thoughts of suicide and rushes to save her. Both cried and had a romantic night together.

Unknown drama serial
Hong binges and everyone suggests her to lose weight being concern for her growing size.

Power Of Love (Drama)
Yongheng specially made a bracelet for Kara with the wording "Mummy" for Mother's Day. Kara is deeply touched. Just when bliss is shining on Yongheng, he felt unwell but he keeps it from the family. Yongheng faints at Paco and Maggie's wedding and is being sent to hospital.

Eternal Happiness (Drama)
Shaohua explains to Lijun that he has beaten Kuibi in the martial arts competition and this has outraged him. To seek revenge, Kuibi means to wrong him and makes him a criminal. Lijun immediately realizes that he is Shaohua.

Fiery Thunderbolt (Drama)
Biyu's doctor informs her family members that her brain has signs of swelling and she has almost no immunity. Her breathing passage is also infected and other organs are malfunctioned and therefore she has to be operated within 48 hours.

Eternal Happiness (Drama)
Lijun and Ziru intend to escape from the bandit den. But Lijun is so careless that she falls from a tree. Ziru catches her in his arms.

Maria Mariana 2 (Movie)
Maria is rushed to hospital and operated on by Dr Faris. Later, they have a relationship.

Summer Scent (Drama)
Zhenya asks Huiyuan to decorate the house with yellow roses. Mingyu slips into the room and uses a scarf to tie her hair. Meanwhile, Shengcai walks up the spiral staircase and hears Mingyu saying to Huiyuan, "I love you, I really love you".

Back To A Kindred Spirit (Drama)
A sex pervert abducts Sixi after Fanny left her behind to gamble.

The Butterfly Lovers (Drama)
Yingtai waited outside Liang's residence for three days, before Shanbo's mum is willing to let her in. When she is pregnant, Shanbo's mum is both happy and sad.

Network Love Story (Drama)
Jialin and Xiaohui submit the invoice of a customer who orders 999 stalks of roses for his bride to Xu Xu. Xu Xu receives the orders and send chrysanthemum instead. The bride fainted on the spot when she sees the flowers.

food diary
tea with milk
black pepper chicken bun
raspberry cheesecake

Saturday, September 25

baby one more time

"Yay! I can smoke and drink again."

The thought suddenly occured to the new Mom, whose baby was four days old when we visited them.

We alternated between ooohing and aaahing over how cute the baby is -- and poking its chubby cheeks -- and ughhhing and arghhhing over the gruesome details of birth.

Like, for instance, how the water bag is more like a water tank when it burst and flooded the bedroom.

Or how giant-sized the forceps were. And the mention of stiches down there is enough to make me feel faint, some more there was discharge the size and consistency of raw liver after an 18-hour labour.

Thank god I don't like kids.

food diary
chee cheong fun
four sotong balls
tea with milk
yong tau foo [no carbo]
four Clorets
penne matriciana

Friday, September 24

boys boys boys

"But I was single once mah, and I always avoided guys who were not average hahahahhaha and effectively killed my chances of marrying rich."

A hilarious married colleague's take on boys who are rich and boys who are too "ham".

Spent the whole afternoon messaging and gossiping about boys in general, and cute photographers, specifically those in the office.

Of course, we were unable to reach a consensus on who is the mostest hamsomest, so here are the nominees in no particular order [except for my own personal preference, butofcos!]

-- Terence Tan [ST]
-- Long Ge [ZB]
-- Kua Chee Siong [TNP]
-- Sean Tan [ST]
-- Desmond Foo [ST]
-- Alan Lim [ST]

So next time you see a photo, peer at the tiny words at the bottom right corner and see who shot it.

food diary
curry puff
small bowl of Special K with dried fruit
half packet of CQYD
curry puff
one packet of Lakerol [supposed to have laxative effect if consumed in large quantities, but nothing so far!]
lots of ikan bilis

Thursday, September 23

food diary
one slice of pizza
tea with milk
tuna salad
one mint
some Lakerol
half packet of fruit gums

Wednesday, September 22

life & death

Woken up early this morning by an SMS with good news. Fel has given birth to baby Wayne at last... well, after nine months, to be exact. She's the first of the lot to "pop one out", as a friend likes to put it, but the competition is heating up with Jol due in a couple of months' time. Watch this space for more baby alerts.

[It's a good thing I don't have any biological ticking going on inside my body, or I'd be severely depressed now.]

But one hour after waking up, I was attending the funeral of an uncle I'd never met before.

The line between life and death is a thin one, and people are crossing it back and forth every day.

food diary
half portion lor mee
half cup of tea with sugar
half portion of porridge
barley drink
half packet of fruit gums
lotus root soup
bean sprouts and carrots
fried fish in tomato sauce
two spoonfuls of rice
one kiwi fruit
one chunk of chocolate

Tuesday, September 21

vice advice

Preparations for beachy holiday in Phuket are well underway.

Leave has been approved, hotel and airtickets have been booked, waxing sessions are planned and vacation advice has been printed out from helpful and ungrammatical websites, such as Advices for making friends:

Don't make serious promises you can't keep. Believe it, your life may not be so valueable if you make false promises to lure girls to your intensions. Don't say 'I like/love you' if you don't mean it and be careful if you have many girls, the girls may end up fighting with each other or with you.

You have to understand that all sexy girls are not females. There are many beautiful 'ladies' that actually are men; transvetites or transsexuals (katoeys). These groups can be extremely rude, dangerous and revengeful if a promise is broken. Be careful.

Going to dream now of a private island populated by trannies.

food diary
egg mayo sandwich
tea with milk
liver mee suah
two pineapple tarts
two Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
roast chicken and roast pork
tofu soup
veggie with mushrooms

Monday, September 20

to do list

Before embarking on a holiday in which you will be wearing a bikini 99 per cent of the time when the sun is shining, these are the things you should do:

-- check if tummy and butt hang out of bikini bottom
-- if yes, embark on last minute exercise regime
-- stock up on sunblock SPF 40 million
-- daily back scrubs to get rid of old zit marks
-- prepare beach basket with goodies, such as Vogue, chick lit, sunshades, goggles and giant towel
-- and last but not least, a Brazilian

food diary
fish soup [half portion noodles]
tea with sugar
two pieces of chocolate
steamed fish
veggie in oyster sauce
apple juice
large chunk of Rocky Road choc

Sunday, September 19

elf work

Totally worn out by elf work.

Woke up bright and early this morning to do some last-minute sewing of satin sashes to sell at the flea market in the afternoon.

Then it was frantic unpacking of soft toys from storage in my mum's vintage suitcases -- from her honeymoon -- for use as display in our stall.

The whole afternoon was spent in a smoke-filled environment, squinting to fight against the dry eyes, and squatting on a stool that was too low for comfort. Sales was not bad, but not a single of my sashes were sold. Demmit, I could have had at least two more hours of sleep.

Then it was more lugging of suitcases home, and more elf work, this time tallying the accounts and updating the inventory list.

I can't believe the weekend is over -- I say that every Sunday -- and I have to go back to my normal job.

It's tiring being an elf.

food diary
bak chor mee
two cups of homemade barley
one Cloret
one hotdog
one Bellini
bak kut teh
one chunk of chocolate

Saturday, September 18

bye, belle

"Don't ever turn down pleasure because you were afraid of what other people might say."

Belle de Jour is no more. What am I supposed to read everyday now?

[Oh, she does have a book coming up, but who knows how long it'd take to reach here.]

food diary
one and half prata
three otah
two slices pizze
four sticks of satay
one slice birthday cake with rainbow icing
two glasses white wine
two glasses champagne
one cup of Coke
two Sex on the Beach

Friday, September 17


I have been working almost non-stop for the past 12 hours or so. Fridays at work are always a bitch, but more so than usual today.

First, I had to re-draw an entire page because the concert organisers refused to cooperate and we had to downplay the story on Blue. [Frigging arrogant Brit boyband nobodies, but that's another story for another day.]

Next, a fashion spread turned out to be not much of a spread due to lousy photos. Then I had to open my big mouth and alert my boss that one of the pages wasn't assigned and guess who had to do it?

Just when my final page was done, the photo on my page decided to hang the entire system and I had to reboot. As I was sorting that out, another page ran into problems, and I had to recrop the photo on that one too.

By this time, all my colleagues had gone home.

Finally, when my system was up again, the printing system went down.

And it is still down. And I'm still here waiting, waiting, waiting...

food diary
glutinous rice with chicken
chicken rice
half a ham and cheese toast
half a mini champagne truffle mooncake
one slice of teriyaki chicken pizza
one slice of apple caramel cake

Thursday, September 16

tick outlet

Bag It Now will be there. Hope to see you too!

Flea market pix has been causing strange blank spaces on some browsers, so have taken it away.

food diary
apricot bread
wanton mee [half portion noodles]
four Clorets
tom yum soup with vermicelli
two sotong balls
some rice
veggie with mushrooms in oyster sauce
minced pork with preserved vegetables
four squares of Cadbury Fruit & Nut

Wednesday, September 15

outta focus

So there we were, in the dimly-light studio, surrounded by pairs of stilettoes and psychedelic pieces of filter paper. Ballads over the radio. Mood lighting.

Balancing precariously on a chair, I was, for a change, tall enough to lean over his shoulder.

Squinting and peering into the tiny screen on the digital camera, I lost my balance, tipped over quite gracefully and fell against him.

No electricity, no sparks, nothing.

It's as though I never once had a raging crush on him. Somehow, that makes me sad, even though unrequited crushes make me even sadder.

food diary
apricot bread
two fried chicken wings
two Reese's Peanut Butter Cup
two bruschetta
two slices of Spizza pizza
English Breakfast tea [at dinner time, so what?]

Sunday, September 12

my left foot

Very upset after returning home from little jaunt to Sentosa. My left foot seems to be flaring up again, just when my right foot is almost all recovered. I don't think I can survive another attack. And my boss will probably fire me if I take another week of MC.

Must. Re. Cover. By. Hook. Or. By. Crook.

[Even though I don't know how to stop the sores from developing any further. And my docs, both Western and Chinese, seem equally clueless.Ugh.]

food diary
meepok dry [half portion noodles]
tea with sugar
homemade chrysanthemum tea
five mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Saturday, September 11

coconut head

Got a haircut -- finally, Timen the hairstylist is back from holidays! -- and suddenly felt like going out.

So, the plan for a quiet night in reading Flaunt was ditched in favour of gatecrashing the birthday party of Ah Tan's sister, whom I've never met.

She doesn't look a day over 40 and her tanned, toned and taut body is incredible, for any age. The wonders of not working, having no stress and being a taitai. I also want!

food diary
chee cheong fun
soya bean milk
Crystal Jade black pepper udon with dumplings and shrimp in beancurd skin
five mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Sunset Bay BBQ fish and chicken with mushroom soup and wedges
two margaritas
two paper cups of red wine

Friday, September 10

strike a pose

I collect Vogue like other women collect vintage Hermes handbags. I can't bear to throw old copies away -- they're like time capsules of fashion -- and I never tear out the pages.

Last night, I had a surprisingly nice dream where I was briefing one of the cutest photographers at work about a fashion shoot, and I showed him a copy of Vogue.

The dream then turned into a nightmare when he proceeded to rip out those relevant pages. He might as well be ripping my heart out.

I woke up all distraught and, to reassure myself, had to quickly flip through last month's Vogue, which was of course, like a Bible, placed next to my bed.

food diary
one slice kaya toast
horrid rice with raw beansprouts, tofu and veggie
almost an entire packet of fruit gums
three crackers
two squares of chocolate
four sticks of satay
two cubes of ketupat
two slices of cucumber
instant soup
half packet of wasabe chips

Thursday, September 9

food diary
kaya toast
tea or Milo [can't recall]
one packet of fruit gums
one Reese's peanutbutter cup [craving for it now!]
nasi lemak
fish noodles
prawn paste chicken
veggie in garlic sauce

Wednesday, September 8

tears on my pillow

Ginnie called around midnight to say goodbye and the flood gates opened.

Even after we hung up, I couldn't stop crying. The tears just kept welling up, so in the end I just gave up trying to dam the the flow and let it all out.

I have commanded her and Alfie to set up a blog too, so we can all keep track of them in New York. And of course, we have all promised to save up so we can all go visit. The plan is to go on a road trip in a winnebago and act like yellow trash.

food diary
kaya toast
kway chap [without any disgusting innards]
roast chicken breast
veggie and mushrooms
one Beebee [my last packet, consumed while watching the final episode of Buffy]

Tuesday, September 7

pause for a cause

Severe lapse in recording food diary and blog...

The entire weekend was spent camping out in Mousey's place, wearing my "uniform" of Natalie black full skirt, black top and adorable cat brooch, and entertaining guests at our house party.

Sales were pretty brisk on Saturday and we had such high hopes for Sunday too, but it was a wash out instead due to the grey weather.

But we made the most of it by setting up a tiramisu assembly line and a rousing game of mahjong. I won $6.50, in case anyone is interested.

food diary
siew mai
tea with milk
wanton noodles [half portion noodles]
barley drink
green apple Yakult
Chicken Noodle Soupy Snax [MSG craving]
preserved vegetable duck soup
prawn omelette
chng tng
chicken wing

Friday, September 3

no smoke without...

The whole of yesterday and today, I kept asking people around my desk, "Do you smell something burning?"

Finally, at 3pm, something finally caught fire. Smoke was pouring out from the partitiion between me and M, who was frantically trying to pound out a story about Cosmo mag. As I hurriedly turned off my two computers [yep, I need two old cranky systems to do my work] and gingerly pried open the partition that houses the plugs, more and more people were gathering around my desk, some in alarm, some just glad for some diversion from work.

As toxic fumes now poured out into the office, I tried to fan the smoke away but it didn't seem to work. I was getting panicky.

Someone exclaimed: "We should use the fire extinguisher!"

Someone else pointed out: "There's one behind us."

Yet, no one picked it up, 'cos no one knew how to use it.

In the meantime, another colleague called Maintenance for help, while brave H used a tissue paper [tissue paper, how does it protect the hand?] to swiftly turn the switches off.

And C the hero[ine] of the day very calmly pushed her way to the front, put her hand into the smoke and unplugged a melted and still smoking adaptor. She then sashayed almost nonchalantly to the pantry sink, holding the fire hazard in her bare hands.

And because I sit near to the Picture Desk, my annoying photographer Foo Soo rushed over with the tool of his trade and snapped some "accident scene" photos of me.

I was so shaken after that my fingers were unable to type properly for half an hour, and had to calm my nerves with cookies and tea.

Turns out that my adaptor, which I brought from home yesterday to plug in a heater to warm up my feet, was not SISIR approved. To think I could have killed the whole office. Now, that would have made the headlines.

food diary
two slices tasteless pandan cake
half cup Milo
wanton noodles [oooh, I feel so wanton after eating it]
two cookies
calming tea
Kerala curry chicken with baguette and papadum
half bowl of CQYD [the spicy sesame oil is spicier than expected]
some Mentos

Thursday, September 2

singapore idolising party

We ate and drank and voted for Sylvester at our Singapore Idolising Party. There were only three of us, but I'm sure our numbers will grow as the competition heats up.

food diary
two buns with egg mayo filling
weak tea with milk
Soupy Snax instant soup
three slices of vegetarian pizza from Spizza
one slice of black forest cake
half slice of chocolate cake
half packet of potato chips
three pieces of Chicken in a Biscuit
three glasses of white wine

Wednesday, September 1

not enough time

I have half an hour before Buffy to do the following:

-- finish watching Jay Chou's latest VCD of music videos
-- clear up mail box of Bag It Now
-- apply iodine to my rotting feet
-- wrap up a bag for delivery
-- close the accounts for August
-- and of course, write my blog

Not gonna happen.

food diary
curry bun
tea with milk
fish soup with thick beehoon [half portion]
stingray with belachan
veggie in oyster sauce [yes, I eat it almost every day]
some rice
one orange
eight squares of chocolate [which were not sugar-free]