Thursday, March 29

pins and needles

I made a needlebook. A what? A book to keep my needles. Made of felt. Pattern adapted from Martha Stewart, which has a treasure trove of DIY projects, and variations on Etsy, which I love more than eBay these days.

Tuesday, March 27

lost in the magic hour

I love this so much, I had to buy it. Etsy is a very dangerous place.

Sunday, March 25

mi mi mi

Learn some new words. See if you can remember them in an hour's time.

Amigurumi [unbearably cute knitted or crocheted animals and figures], from the super talented people over at Etsy.

Unazukin [Japanese dolls, inspired by Russian ones, which nod or shake their heads in response to questions], from the crazy people at Bandai who gave us the Tamagotchi.

Nuigurumi [miniatures made of felt], also from Etsy.

Saturday, March 24

the bag page

Assorted items found while rummaging through bag: Contact lens case [with lenses still soaking in solution within, to be thrown away by the end of the day], plastic frame glasses [550/450 degrees R/L respectively, to go to some short-sighted soul with no access to Lasik], small dropper of eye drops, large dropper of what I thought were eye drops, green-and-pink pouch from Geewee for various crochet paraphernalia, half-done greyish granny square, fluffy yellow ball of wool, metal crochet needle [in size 6, if anyone cares], violet striped notebook with three years' worth of "important" information scribbled inside, brown polka dotted make-up pouch.

eye am a moron

Luckily, my little mistake with the dropper bottles didn't do any damage to my peepers.

Friday, March 23

i can see clearly now

Well, not 100% clearly -- yet. But it's been less than 12 hours since my Lasik operation, and already I can watch TV and use the computer without needing glasses, which is a vast improvement.

Have to put on my bug eyes soon to go to bed.

Update: Five minutes after I posted the above, I applied my hourly eyedrops to my right eye. My eye burned like crazy. "Why is my eye so painful?" I asked my sis, my voice rising in alarm.

I looked down at the bottle I was holding. Through my non-100% vision, I saw that, instead of the prescribed eydrops, I had used the anti-bacterial solution meant for my toes.

My right eye is still red and painful and blurry now, after using lots of eye wash to rinse it out. What have I done!?!

Sunday, March 18


Poor doggie got bit or pierced by something in his genitals. And there're now two puncture wounds, a black sore and blood and pus oozing out. I can only imagine the pain.

He is not his inquisitive hyperactive self today, because he is all drugged out from painkillers and disoriented by the plastic cone he has to wear.

He's so embarrassed by how unfashionable it is that he doesn't want to step out of the house. He can't go down the stairs without help as the cone keeps getting stuck on the grooves on the steps. Doggie treats and meowing kitties don't excite him one bit.

And he is so depressed that he just stands in the middle of the room with his head drooping for long minutes. He doesn't follow me as I go about doing my laundry. He doesn't want to sniff my lunch. He isn't interested in jumping onto the bed anymore.

My doggie is sad.

Tuesday, March 13


Meet my fellow hookers here. It's called a Granny-Along, and proves that I'm not the only one afflicted with the insane urge to make granny squares. There are already more than 30 members and hundreds of squares, and the madness only started last week!

In related news, I just went to Ikea in the pouring rain -- my shoes were filled with water and I could wring the rain out from my dress -- with one very wet square to measure against the cushions there. Fingers are crossed that my 3x3 squares are not too big for the kelly green cushion I bought.

Saturday, March 10

having it and eating it

Whenever I feel blue, I look at these beautiful cakes, even though I'm nowhere near to getting married. From April Reed.

Made entirely of felt, this cake has over 50 decoration pieces for you to stick on. From Twinkle Kids.

Strictly speaking, this isn't cake. But it's yummy and it's crocheted! From Etsy.

Wednesday, March 7

Monday, March 5

playing hooky

To take my mind off thinking, I've been doing crochet and making these granny squares. Just picked it up over the weekend from a book and a needle H. lent me, and I'm completely hooked. I'm a happy hooker! I work best in bed! And in the still of the night!

But in between doing double crochet double crochet double crochet single chain single chain double crochet double crochet double crochet, I thought:

"Where was his wife when he called me at 6am?"
"What was he thinking when he told me my birthday present was that I get to suck his toes?"
"When would he have told me if I hadn't asked?"
"Who am I to him?"
"Why do I feel that flirting while attached is ok but flirting while married is absolutely wrong?"
"How could he be doing this when he just got married?"

I have no answers. Now, back to my granny squares.

a dog's weekend

On Saturday, the Sng family had an early morning outing to the beach with its latest addition. Everyone took turns to take photos with him. He was bewildered by why we kept calling his name to get him to look at the camera.

On Sunday, he tried to get in bed with me. On my freshly laundered bedsheets. I pushed him off.

He looked at me balefully. I couldn't help it. I relented. How do you resist eyes like that?

Thursday, March 1

the long good night

ME: He got married.
LURVE: Oh dear. Are you ok lurve?
ME: I've been expecting it but still I feel a bit dazed by the news. And he had numerous chances to tell me but he didn't, until I asked him point blank today
LURVE: You mean he didn't tell you he was married until you asked him? Did he say why he didn't tell you? When did he get married?
ME: Ya. I put two and two together when he told me he'd moved. Even then, the fact that he'd moved came out only by accident.
LURVE: Har? He was still flirting with you? Sigh. Please don't feel sad if you do. He's so not worth your time. And please try to cut ties with him completely. He's a true blue asshole. I'm so mad at him!
ME: What I don't get is why he didn't just tell me. We had a long conversation not long ago. And he gave me a morning call when I had to wake up at 6am. And he got drunk last weekend and messaged me. Where the hell was his wife when all this was happening?
LURVE: She was in the dark. And she will continue to be if you don't end this. He wants to have all his cake and eat it, regardless of hurting his wife or you. Cheats are good liars.
ME: We're not exactly doing anything. We just talk. I've stopped flirting. Well, mostly. His reason for not telling me was that he was waiting for me to ask. Har?
LURVE: I guess he didn't tell you cos he didn't want the good feeling to his ego to end. I'm sure he likes you, but not enough to not want to hurt you. He just seems very dishonest. Waiting for you to ask - doesn't that sound like a coward to you?
LURVE: Even though you don't do anything, he knows you have some feelings - he must know. And he's abusing those feelings by keeping you "hanging on" in some small way
ME: Well, I'm glad I just point blank asked him. And there's no point now asking him why he didn't tell me. I'm finding it hard now to even be friendly to him, knowing the extent of his deception.
LURVE: Yes and you shouldn't try to be nice or friends for that matter. He's done enough damage. Don't fuel his ego anymore!
ME: Yes, I know what I should do. But it's always so nice to just talk rubbish with him. And I know it's not one sided. That's what makes it so difficult.
LURVE: I can imagine lurve. But you must try your best.
ME: Why can't I met a normal UNATTACHED man? I'm tired of this shit. It may be easier to just give up. Men. Ptui.
LURVE: Don't give up! Don't let him make you lose faith. It takes time. Life is weird and cruel and I guess it all adds up to make you stronger?
ME: Oh well, I'm not unhappy being single. Thanks for listening to me lurve!
LURVE: No worries lurve. You take care. And if you need to message anyone, message me!! Night night.
ME: Night night lurve!

hatty birthday

I love belated birthday presents! Thanks, Outstanding and Gumption, I love the cap!

[This photo, taken with my new phone, does not do the hat justice. It has little floral prints and is sprinkled with eyelets, how cute is that?]


The need for "closure" never bothered me much. I'm more into denial, I guess, rather than resolving my many "issues".

But I've been thinking about it, on and off, as the last year drew to an unspectacular end and the first two months of this year zipped past.

I needed something to be returned to me, something that we'd both been a part of, something which was not really a big deal, something which made my insides clench whenever a stray thought about it passed through my head.

I'd asked for this something to be returned, more than once. I asked again, today. Every time I asked, it felt like I shouldn't even be asking.

But still I asked. And still he didn't give it back.

He doesn't know the significance, it's just some thing to him. To me, it's closure.