Friday, December 29

sub zero

I know, I know, it's ridiculous that I'm wearing a trenchcoat AND a scarf in Singapore AND indoors. But I'm cold cold cold.

Sunday, December 24

doggone it

I'd set my heart on Dipsy after seeing him on the SPCA website yesterday.

So bright and early this morning, we set off excitedly to get him, with blankets and newspapers and all. But alas, being too cute for words, he'd already been adopted the day before.

I'm sad. I was looking forward to bonding with my doggy over Christmas, a rare day without any work whatsoever. Instead, I'm spending it watching Ugly Betty in bed.

Saturday, December 23

cool yule

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year from Mr Brown, Mr Browner, Mr Brownest and me.

Thursday, December 21


Suddenly, unexpectedly, unintendedly, I found myself applying for leave next January.

And equally surprisingly, I realised I'd somehow accumulated enough frequent flyer miles this year to go almost anywhere [or rather, as far as Australia].

I want to just fly away. Question now is, where?

Wednesday, December 20

au naturel

Read this from the perspective of someone who needs half an hour of primping before she can leave the house. Kinda reminds me of the Brazillian millionaire plastic surgeon who devotes one day a week to "charity" work in the slums because, to paraphrase him, even the poor deserve to look beautiful.

The Natural Beauty Myth

Garance Franke-Ruta

The Wall Street Journal
December 15, 2006

What the critics of the beauty industry fail to recognize is that the doctrine of “natural beauty” and the desire it breeds in women to be accepted as they are or to be seen as beautiful without any effort, is a ruthless and anti-egalitarian ideal. It is far more punishing than the one that says any woman can be beautiful if she merely treats beauty as a form of discipline

Only in America do we think that beauty is a purely natural attribute rather than a type of artistry requiring effort. Look at the French: They are no more beautiful as a people than we as Americans, but they understand that every woman can be attractive – if not beautiful – if she chooses to be.

Yes, we are given forms by nature, but how we choose to present them is a matter of our own discretion.

Few people are blessed by nature and circumstance with the Golden Mean proportions that seem to be universally appreciated. Thus, in the end, it is more democratic to think of beauty or attractiveness as an attribute that one can acquire, like speaking a foreign language or cooking well.

Full story here.

Monday, December 18

the eyes have it

Posting this belatedly. Stole my current hair style from The Sartorialist.

Have been trying to achieve the same chunky, swept-aside bangs, with little success. And even less success with my smokey eyeliner effect. To date, I've tried two different brands of liquid eyeliner, one pencil eyeliner and one brow pencil, and only managed to look like a panda/racoon hybrid.

Sunday, December 17


Do I really need to buy this or will squeezing a hard-boiled egg into any cube shaped container do the trick?

what are you doing new year's eve

For the past three days, for almost nine of my waking hours daily, every 30 minutes or so, the divine Miss M croons with gentle yearning on repeat mode.

When the bells all ring
And the horns all blow
And the coubles we know
Are fondly kissing
Will I be with you
Or will I be amoung the missing?

Maybe it's much too early in the game
Oh, but I thought I'd ask you just the same.
What are you doing New Year's... New Year's eve?

Wonder whose arms will hold you good and tight
When it's exactly twelve o'clock that night?
Welcoming in the New Year... New Year's eve

Maybe I'm crazy to suppose
I'd ever be the one you chose...
Out of the thousand invitations you'll received?
But in case I stand one little chance,
Here comes the jackpot question in advance
What are you doing New Year's... New Year's Eve?

Out of the thousand invitations you'll received?
Oh, but in case I stand one little chance,
Here comes the jackpot question in advance...
What are you doing New Year's... New Year's Eve?
What are you doing New Year's Eve?

Friday, December 15

stupendous sartorial success

Fashion shoot from Swirl Swap Swop, which lends itself to all sorts of superlative alliterations.

{For the sake of my loyal readers and any potential stalkers out there, I tried to upload the photos here, but failed. So please click on the link above.}

Thursday, December 14

alliterative girl and rhyme man

ME: I was thinking as I showered about this question posed to so-called celebs in Urban: What's the nicest thing you did this year? I couldn't think of anything!
HE: Remember helping that Australian girl with her groceries?
ME: That can't be the NICEST thing I've done all year... And yes, I remember...
HE: Well that's a start. How about not yelling at clowns who browse your brooches but make no purchase?
ME: What's the nicest thing you did this year? I thought it was an inane question until I couldn't answer it... Heh.
HE: I'm a meanie
ME: I think you're just a big softie at heart, but trying to act tough on the outside...
HE: What rubbish. Where on earth did you get that?
ME: Don't worry, your secret's safe with me... Hee
HE: Bah. Go away.
ME: *Slinks away with tail between legs*
HE: Huh not getting any sympathy here. Spank
ME: Kitty is hurt. Meow.
HE: *Grabs kitty by tail, finds small room, starts swinging*
ME: *Kitty bounces off the ceiling and walls* Wheee!

HE: Hey pussycat
ME: Meow... I need a cat nap

[Still later]
ME: Kitty sold five brooches to one customer *grins like cheshire cat*
HE: Crazy customer cherishes cringe-worthy collectibles?
ME: How long did it take for you to come up with that alliteration?
HE: About 3 min. Wasn't very good huh?
ME: It was fantastic. I couldn't have come up with anything better myself. Heh, can you sense my sarcasm?
HE: Subtle sucky sarcasm shouldn't show significant signs of scolding
ME: Girl grudgingly giggles. Guy gleefully gloats.

[A few days later]
ME: Alliterative girl strikes again. I'm holding an event today called Swirl Swap Swop!
HE: Shouldn't it be something like Swirl's sumptious super swap swoop?
ME: Swirl Swap Swop a stunning success. Suzanne supremely satisfied.

[A few more days later]
HE: Hi, apologies for the silence. You kept catching me in non playful moods
ME: Sokay. I never expected you to reply to every single inane message... especially those with bad alliterations! But why so glum?
HE: Glum? Who's glum, chum?
ME: I'm glum, chum.
HE: Sup? Pup?
ME: Moody and broody
HE: Truly? Suzy?
ME: Suzy sleepy
HE: Coffee maybe?
ME: Bunny's nose is runny. And why isn't it sunny?
HE: Poor bunny, want some hunny?
ME: Rhyme time is over for me. Can't come up with any more! You win! Heh
HE: was fun, hun. Same game getting tame?
ME: Stop it stop it or I might erm vomit!
HE: Fine fine. Don't whine.

So. What's the nicest thing you did this year? I still haven't come up with anything.

Monday, December 11

parade of wanted things III

H&M is having one super cheap item (as if they aren't all super cheap already!) every day till Christmas. This is my current object of desire. Not that I have any balls to attend, but it's still desparately coveted.

Sunday, December 10

feeling grey

No Grey's Anatomy until January 4 next year. How am I supposed to survive the rest of December without McDreamy?

Thursday, December 7

lady in red update

We saved the lady in red from a fashion disaster. She offered profuse thanks and said she'd return in a couple of days to pay for the emergency surgery on her zip.

It's been four days and still no sign of her. May all her zips spontaneously explode the moment she sits down from now on.

swirl uniform

Is it a coincidence that the only dress I sold so far happens to be the very same one I'm wearing as the Swirl "uniform" today? I think not.

Now to figure out a way to wear multiple outfits a day as shameless self promotion. Oh wait, that's what Aubrey, Heidi and Su Mei are for. They're our mannequins, always standing tireless with their best posture in the shop window.

P.S. Why are they called mannequins when they are of the female form? Shouldn't they be womannequins?

Wednesday, December 6

a body in motion

It was the last pantry break I'd be having with my twin for a while. A very long while. We spent it complaining of being sleepy and "men men men" -- meaning bored, not referring to the male species -- and snapping idiotic fake Lomo photos.

And now, for a commercial break.

Fancy this pink and brown wrap dress in the Swirl colours? You know now where to get it. Also available in blue and black. Grey version sold out, sorry!

A customer came to the shop and immediately spotted the Sheryl top on the racks. She told my elf: "I saw a girl crossing the road just now in this top and I really liked it." That girl crossing the road was me. Butofcos she bought it.

I was swishing around the shop in this skirt when a customer came in and asked to try it. As she was admiring herself in the mirror, a second customer saw the two of us looking so good in the skirt, she also wanted to try it. I sold two champagne gold ones and a black one within an hour.

Shameless self promotion is the way to boost sales.

Sunday, December 3

hello & goodbye

It was a 2D1N trip back home for my sissy, due to some visa issues. It was so rushed that the only way we could eat ice cream together was in the car on the way to the airport. And we could only Photo Booth at the airport minutes before her flight.

Saturday, December 2

it's an emergency

As we were winding down business for the week today at about 7pm, a statuesque woman in a floor-length gown in deep red swept into the shop, with a worried looking make-up artist from the studio next door.

"Do you think you can fix the zip?" the make-up artist asked tentatively, pointing to the woman in red.

It was then that we noticed that the bustier part of her gown was gaping open on the left side. The zip had burst. Yet, she couldn't take off the dress because, under her armpit, the top part of the zip was still stuck fast.

While she stood still, imprisoned in her clothes, three pairs of hands tried to tug the zip down, but the teeth refused to release their grip.

I suddenly had a brainwave: The seamstress who does alterations for me across the road happened to be working late. So I lent her a jacket, for modesty's sake, and we rushed over.

There, she kicked off her Christina Louboutin killer heels -- absolutely the most beautifullest shoes I'd ever seen -- while my seamstress snipped apart the zip. Then, she sat in the fitting room in her strapless bra and knickers -- shivering, I imagined -- while emergency surgery was carried out.

The entire zip had to be taken out and a new one fitted in under the lining. No mean feat, and it was accomplished in less than 15 minutes.

The dress was still too tight, though, and it took three pairs of hands to zip her back in to go for her cocktail-dinner thingy.

She said she was not going to eat anything that night. Or even sit down. I think she might spend the whole evening sucking in her tummy.

Oh, she also said it was the first time she was wearing the gown and that it was "frigging expensive". In case anyone is interested in labels, it was a Karen Millen.

drive me crazy

HE: Drove past Stamford House and thought of you.

Wish I had the resolve to reply, "Don't drive past my place anymore."

What's the point of thinking about me, when he does nothing besides that? Either stop it or do something about it. Or just think about me without telling me.

But I guess I'm guilty of the same.

ME: Had a dream in which we got hot and sweaty. We were having Korean BBQ.

It was a perfect dream, totally innocent, easy conversation, endless laughter, unlimited yummy beef. I could have kept it to myself, but when I woke up, I just had to tell him.

Friday, December 1

swirl swap swop

Ladies, are your wardrobes close to bursting point? Are you discovering long-lost clothes that you will never again wear in this lifetime? And would you like to swop them for something pretty -- without spending a cent?

Then the Swirl Swap Swop is perfect for you.

This is how it goes:

-- Spring clean your wardrobe. Be ruthless.
-- Stuff a shopping bag full of clothes you no longer fit into, fashion disasters and impulse buys. Someone else will love them, we promise.
-- Come by the Swirl boutique on the day of the Swirl Swap Swop.
-- Empty your bags into a giant pile with the cast-offs from other swoppers, who, needless to say, have extraordinarily good taste since they are Swirl Girls.
-- Rummage through the pile and grab those items you fancy. No cat fights, please.
-- Return home with fabulous finds. Mission accomplished.

Swirl Swap Swop
Venue: Swirl boutique at 02-05 Stamford House
Date: Sunday, 10 December
Time: 2pm
* Registration required as the event is limited to the first 30 respondents due to space constraints.

Sounds like a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon? Get your girlfriends all excited too and sign up together. Just drop us an email at to let us know how many of you are coming, and we will send you more details.

Remember, waste not want not. A penny saved is a penny earned. One woman's cast-offs is another woman's treasure -- or something like that.

Happy shopping and happy swopping!

stamford house 02-05
39 stamford road
tel: 6338 5020
monday ~ saturday
12pm ~ 830pm

parade of wanted things II

Contain yourself! How much do I covet these useless kitchen doodads from The Container Store. No more resting spoons while cooking and dirtying the countertop. And no more guessing if that frozen piece of mystery meat is worth thawing.

i scream

When three pints of Ben & Jerry's -- Magic Brownie, Chubby Hubby and Fossil Fuel -- in as many days still don't work, you know it's serious.