it's an emergency

As we were winding down business for the week today at about 7pm, a statuesque woman in a floor-length gown in deep red swept into the shop, with a worried looking make-up artist from the studio next door.

"Do you think you can fix the zip?" the make-up artist asked tentatively, pointing to the woman in red.

It was then that we noticed that the bustier part of her gown was gaping open on the left side. The zip had burst. Yet, she couldn't take off the dress because, under her armpit, the top part of the zip was still stuck fast.

While she stood still, imprisoned in her clothes, three pairs of hands tried to tug the zip down, but the teeth refused to release their grip.

I suddenly had a brainwave: The seamstress who does alterations for me across the road happened to be working late. So I lent her a jacket, for modesty's sake, and we rushed over.

There, she kicked off her Christina Louboutin killer heels -- absolutely the most beautifullest shoes I'd ever seen -- while my seamstress snipped apart the zip. Then, she sat in the fitting room in her strapless bra and knickers -- shivering, I imagined -- while emergency surgery was carried out.

The entire zip had to be taken out and a new one fitted in under the lining. No mean feat, and it was accomplished in less than 15 minutes.

The dress was still too tight, though, and it took three pairs of hands to zip her back in to go for her cocktail-dinner thingy.

She said she was not going to eat anything that night. Or even sit down. I think she might spend the whole evening sucking in her tummy.

Oh, she also said it was the first time she was wearing the gown and that it was "frigging expensive". In case anyone is interested in labels, it was a Karen Millen.