love hurts

The best show on local telly -- Love Airways on Channel U, Wednesday, 11:30pm

Chanced upon it last week. Simultaneously, two fellow addicts sent me text messages to turn on my TV. Last night, I made sure I alerted my other friends to this gem. It is pure [unintended] comedy.

Everything was cringe-worthy.

-- The self-proclaimed Dr Love [watch out for the trailer in which he sits on a swivel chair with his legs open, exhibiting a significant bulge there] asks supposedly-kinky questions in excruciating Mandarin. Surely there are better ways to ask, "So does this leopard-print nightie drive you wild?" You don't have to be leering lecherously at the same time.

-- Sister Love, his able assistant, is an ang moh woman dressed as a nurse, who speaks Mandarin so slowly, it's as if she's speaking to a retard.

-- Queen Amrita, a dominatrix from Japan, carries a whip and goes around Wine Bar carrying out a pointless sex survey. She is truly scary, especially when I see her flabs spilling out from the sides of her rubber suit.

-- The two [thankfully anonymous] persons in body suits, one blue and one red, go through various Karma Sutra-like moves, but often without any contact. I don't understand how that leads to copulation.

-- The insane music is beyond description. You need to hear it for yourself.

i heart gee wee

How could I have forgotten to give Gee Wee publicity?!?

Check out her gorgeous vintage finds at Gee Wee Goes To New York.

walking wounded

My wound was healing up nicely, or so I thought.

Sure, there was some pulpy yellow stuff in the crater, but everytime I questioned my doctors [I've got two specialists now!], they assured me that it was fine. It wasn't pus and it wasn't infected. But I was asked to go see the wound nurse anyway.

I kept having nightmares of the nurse using tweezers to pluck my exposed tendon or a razor blade to scrape the flesh.

Turns out that the reality isn't far from that.

The moment I sat down, the extremely efficient nurse ripped off my dressing and started prodding with a pair of small sharp scissors. When I yelped, she told me brisquely that there is a lot of dead tissue, ie. the "yellow stuff", which has to be removed before the new cells can grow.

She then proceeded to excavate my crater with ruthless efficiency for a good 10 minutes while I continued whimpering and yelping. At the end of it, wound was all bloodied and as deep as a month ago.

I limped out of the treatment room and collasped against the wall, face totally ashen and legs all weak. And I have to come back for this torture every other week.

christmas come early

It felt just like the office gift exchange -- except that all the presents were for me me me.

The surprise care package arrived in the evening, filled with goodies:
- M&Ms, Kit Kat and Godiva
- cookies, muffins, honey, haw flakes
- miniature Loewe bag [certified genuine], cute Blythe pouch, Jewel In The Palace coin purse
- knitted scarf thingy [very inspired to make my own now, supposed to be easy]
- soft toys in the shape of various animals
- very thoughtful Wallpaper and Glamour magazines and book on tai chi
- potpourri, aromatherapy, massage oils
- Mayday album [I'd been dying to get it, but obviously was too bedridden to go buy it]

I feel so lurved. But still in no hurry to return to the office.

i want i want i want

Sure sign of recovery -- food cravings!

- Chawanmushi [it kinda looks like my wound though, muahahahahhaa!]
- Any kind of pasta [even though I just had the most heavenly lobster pasta by Chef Chan last Saturday]
- Japanese-style fried chicken with lots of Kewpie mayo
- Jello that wobbles
- Big fat juicy steak
- Laksa with extra hum [so harmful, hardy har har]
- Lor mee from the stall with long queue at Bukit Purmei
- Prawn noodles [must be the black black soup type]
- Smoked salmon pizza from Pizza Bar
- Mee rebus from canteen [I've gone mad from being away from the office for too long]
- Raspberries
- Japanese-style pasta with fish roe [it's a perversion of Italian cooking but oh so yummy!]
- Krispy Kreme donuts [I'll take a dozen, original glazed, butofcos!]
- cold tofu with oyster sauce
- Chicken In A Biscuit [the ultimate MSG fix]
- BBQ chilli sotong on banana leaf [my fave food in the whole wide world]

first second third

Me: [With constipated look] I can't move my fourth toe.
Doc: [Blithely unconcerned] Yes. I think your tendon has either torn or ruptured.
Me: [Voice rising in alarm] But it will heal, right? Or I can't move it forever?
Doc: [Reassuringly] Yes, forever. But don't worry, you don't need your fourth toe to walk or balance.

love me tendon

Doc just gave me another three weeks of medical leave, not entirely unexpected cos the giant crater on my foot is still not fully healed. Worse still, the exposed tendon seems to have affected my fourth toe, which now can't move!

I spend a lot of time staring at my limp toe and wriggling the other toes, but it doesn't respond much. Have been referred to orthopedics to sort it out.

On the bright side, the meds are working like magic and there is little pain. I can even reduce the dosage so, hopefully, the pukey feeling I'm constantly fighting will subside.

I've also mastered the fine at of balancing on my left foot, which has almost entirely recovered. I can even shower standing on one foot.

In fact, I'm just like a pink flamingo, which, incidentally, is my current object of desire.