mock lunch

I dragged myself out of bed at the unearthly hour of 9am [considering that it was Sunday!] to go for a Mother's Day and family reunion lunch of sorts.

Because two aunts and one uncle were vegetarians, we had lots of food mocking us -- mock fish, mock prawns, mock abalone, mock sausages. Lots of real vegetables and mushrooms too.

Australian Aunt: You have become so skinny.
Me: Um... [play with chopsticks, hoping food would faster arrive]
Malaysian Aunt: You have become prettier.
Me: Um... [blush and sip soya bean drink]
Malaysian Aunt: There must be a lot of guys after you.
Me: Um... [drink more soya bean]
Australian Uncle: You look Japanese.
Me: Um... [smile and make eyes really small]
Australian Aunt: It's your hair. It's very nice.
Mother: [Proudly] She spends $70 cutting it.
Me: Um... [look down at empty plate and wish for food]
Australian Aunt: [More proudly] My Karen spends $80.
Me: Um... [why did I come for lunch?]
Singaporean Aunt: See? It's good to come for lunch with us. Got people tell you that you're skinny and pretty.