tired of being tired

ME: I'm so tired. Why do we need men?
LURVE: I dunno sigh. And we never learn from our mistakes either.
ME: Surely everyone deserves to find love? Why is it so hard for some and so easy for others? It's just not fair!
LURVE: Because life's not fair! And lurve is a battlefield.
ME: I'm tired, lurve... It shouldn't be this hard. Or this unfair.
LURVE: I don't know how to answer, lurve. I think a lot has to do with finding peace within, of not always wanting or needing, and just being still and happy with yourself. There's a reason for everything, even sadness and pain. I think it's to teach us to face our deepest fears so that when what we really really want -- and deserve -- arrives, you'll truly appreciate it and treasure it.
ME: I know I'm whining but I feel like I always have to work so hard for anything I want... To study overseas, to start a business, to even just be healthy... Surely I'm not such a rotten person that I don't deserve anything good to happen to me without me having to work for it?
LURVE: That I cannot answer. But lurve, you have many blessings in your life. You're not stuck working full-time, you've had some success with Swirl, you have been in good health for quite a while and you have friends who care very much about you. Things could be a lot worse than that.
ME: Yes, things can be worse. But my point is that I've had to work so hard at it just to be a little happy, contented, successful or whatever. And frankly, I'm tired.

Yes, I know, we have to work hard for things we want, nothing in life is free, and anyway, I don't trust things which come too easily. But is it too much to ask for someone to be there to hold me and let me rest, just for a while, when I'm too tired to carry on?

And of course, even when you have someone, you have to work at it to keep it going. Which brings me back to...I'm so tired.