rumours of my demise have been greatly exaggerated

I'm back -- in more ways than you can imagine.

[Frazzled fragments of memory listed below in lieu of a proper post.]

Back from a whirl-wind junket to Seoul for adidas to interview Missy Elliott, which I must confess I knew little about pre-trip. But good hardworking journo that I am, I did my research and I managed to bluff my way through, with lots of help from Wikipedia.

The misnamed Misdemeanour was thoroughly nice, though completely air-brushed in her publicity pix. In person, she reminds me of a giant brown raisin. And she is, like, double my size. [Pix to come to prove my point.]

Midnight in Seoul and we [three journos and one adidas guy] decided we had to have ginseng chicken soup before we left the next afternoon. Or rather, one journo insisted and the rest of us were too nice to object to the wild chicken chase. Along the way, we learnt what it is called in Korean -- say "sang geng tung" or something close to that, and the helpful Korean people will put you in a cab and direct the driver to bring you to a restaurant.

A distracted dinner on the flight home from Seoul resulted in food poisoning. I swear it was the smoked salmon I absent-mindedly ate while watching X-Men 3 [which once again reinforced my opinion that I really don't miss much with my self-imposed cinema ban], but SQ begged to differ.

This was the reply to my complain letter:

"Thank you for sharing with us your experience on flight SQ 17 from Seoul to Singapore on 8 September 2006.

I am very sorry and concerned to learn that you had taken ill after your flight and I appreciate the tremendous discomfort and inconvenience you experienced on this occasion. Upon receiving your email, I had initiated an investigation into the matter with our In-flight Services Manager and our caterers in Seoul and I hope you will allow me to share my findings.

May I firstly share with you that we regularly conduct food-sampling tests on our in-flight meals to ensure that they meet our stringent standards of food quality and hygiene. When there is a breach, it will usually show up in the tests. As we prepare our in-flight meals in batches rather than individually, one indicator of a breach is the incidence of several cases of food poisoning from passengers on the same flight.

To this date, we have not received similar reports of food poisoning from other passengers on this flight. Also, our laboratory sampling tests for the smoked salmon you had consumed are shown to be microbiologically satisfactory, without any irregularities.

Nonetheless, please be assured that I have personally shared your experience with our Food & Beverage Manager, who will review it with our caterers concerned to continue ensuring that our stringent standards of food hygiene are adhered to strictly."

In other words, SQ is implying that I didn't get food poisoning from their single-serving meal but from some rubbish I ate instead. I have yet to formulate a reply because my retort is an infuriated, "So you saying I lied izzit?"

The dreadful smoked salmon, which I am now forever turn off by, left me retching at 6am into the toilet bowl. And I had another plane to catch to Bali in three hours. It's tough being a high-flying jet-setter.

I had to see a doctor at the airport before flying and was knocked out throughout the flight. In my weakened state, upon arrival, I needed a wheelchair to go through immigration. My lurve, who had so kindly asked me to be her plus one for the trip which she had won, snapped photos of my chagrined face as the friendly guide wheeled me through the airport. [Photos to come when my lurve, another jet-setter, returns from cavorting with cute Italian boys in Portofino.]

I made a miraculous recovery in the wonderfully luxurious Como Shambhala resort. We had an entire two-storey villa to ourselves. The size of the bathroom was bigger than my bedroom at home. [Pix to make you turn green to come.]

Received an SMS which informed me that he dreamt of me, which I filed under "Annoying/Interesting" in my mental cabinet.

Came back reluctantly and guiltily to the mad rush of preparing the shop for opening. Did a faintly ridiculous opening-of-doors ceremony, which involved throwing rice and salt in the corners, muttering auspicious "fa" words while giggling, and placing four extremely large oranges in the middle of the shop.

Lots of aggravating phone calls to banks about credit card facilities and corporate accounts. Did you know you need to maintain $10,000 for a corporate account? And you only get interest if you have more than $100,000 in the bank? Preposterous!

We bought some essentials for the shop -- mirrors, mannequins -- and also some frivolous items, such as a swing. Did some painting [Mousey did the bulk of it and she claims that she is now "more stupider" from inhaling the fumes], installed some chandeliers. [There will be four in total in the shop! How extravagant!]

There was a laidback Hawaii 3-4 birthday party with so much tender lamb and beef that I couldn't sleep well that night, the weight of all those dead sheep and cows were weighing on my conscience -- and my stomach.

Then it was off to Bali -- again. This time it was for a junket for a new resort by Bvlgari. I thought nothing could top Como Shambhala, already one of the most expensive resorts on the island, but I was wrong.

There was a US$5,000 ocean-view villas, an in-house jewellery store, gourmet meals, and helicopter rides to the beach. But really, I wished my lurve had been there with me. [Pix to come. Don't hate me for living the high life, if only for three days. The reason pix have yet to be uploaded is that I got my new MacBook -- at last! -- and I've yet to sort it out to my liking. I'm very anal about how my desktop looks and all those preferences.]

I dreamt of him while in Bali and texted to inform him. Somehow, he thinks I'm having an affair with someone, so I let him continue thinking it. Filed that under "Annoying/Interesting" as well.

More elf work to be done. Packing the stuff for movers on Thursday. Will be exciting to see all the furniture and lights and fixtures in the shop. Fixing patterns and samples to be ready for party season. Making signage and stamps and namecards and paper bags and a million other things. Any elf volunteers would be greatly appreciated.

Anyway. I'm back.