under the blanket

Phone call from home.

Mama: What are you doing?
Zann: Erm, reading... [Actually just woken up by phone and very groggy.]

Papa: When are you coming back?
[The arrival date had already been repeated many times over many phone calls.]
Zann: 1 September.

Mama: Do you want me and your auntie to come and help you carry your things back?
Zann: No need. I going to ship my winter clothes and books back.

Papa: When are you coming back?
Zann: [Patiently] 1 September.

Mama: Your father wants to go India again.
[Papa goes on a pilgrimage to see Sai Baba, his religious guru, every year, much to Mama's displeasure.]
Zann: Orrrrr...

Papa: When are you coming back?
Zann: [Still very patiently] 1 September. Why?
Papa: I'm going to India to see Baba.
Zann: Orrrrr...

Mama: How much is it to ship your things back? Very expensive?
Zann: I haven't checked yet.
Mama: Don't leave everything to the last minute ah. If it is very expensive, we can come and carry things back for you.
Zann: You can come if you want. It doesn't have to be for carrying my things.
Mama: No lah, no money. Because your father wants to go India.
Zann: Orrrrr...

Papa: So you are coming back on 2 September?
Zann: [At this point, Zann is torn between exasperation and amusement. She speaks with exaggerated patience.] 1 September. I leave London on 31 August and arrive in Singapore on 1 September.

Papa: Got enough money or not? [When he runs out of things to say, this is the question that invariably gets asked, and usually signals the end of the conversation.]
Zann: [Lying through her teeth] Yah, I got enough money to last until [very loudly and slowly] 1 September.

This would make a more realistic ad for international phone calls than those lame ones SingTel uses. The tagline would be "Sometimes, you don't need to say the words".